Managing the relationship with your family during VCE
Elio Damato
During year 12, you might be starting to feel more independent from your family, or like you want more freedom. This comes at the same time that you have to start focusing on your studies a lot more. It might feel like your family are hassling you during this time, but they can actually be your greatest allies.
If it feels like your parents are too pushy and they are more stressed by VCE than you are, firstly try to remember that they are only doing this because they care about you. However, if the pressure they’re putting on you just increases your stress, then you might want to have a conversation with them about backing off just a little. Try to approach this with kindness, because they really do just want you to be successful. Accept that they’re not going to stop caring about you, and try to think of their pushiness as a positive.
If your family mostly just leave you to do your own thing, then lucky you! However, if you know that you struggle with motivation, you can ask your family if they can help remind or encourage you to do your homework or study. Remind them that the VCE is important to you, but also try to absorb some of their chill vibes and remember that you’ll be okay.
If your family is really busy and have priorities other than your VCE, then you might need to remind them that year 12 is really important to you. This might include taking some time out from family activities to study, or setting up a quiet space designated for study at home. You can also find great support in other places. If home isn’t the best place to study, you can usually stay after school and study in the library for an hour or two. You could also go to your local public library. Your teachers really want you to succeed, so ask them for help if you need it. You might also want to think about finding a tutor.
You can use your family to your advantage during VCE. Your family want you to succeed, and they can be your best allies. You could ask them to practice flash cards with you. You could teach them the new topic you learnt in class today – teaching to someone else is one of the best ways to revise. Teach to your pet if your family is busy, as a way of reinforcing concepts learned. You could have a group study session with your siblings.
As someone who has a few years’ distance from trying to get along with my family during VCE, I know that they were my biggest allies during this time. My relationship with them has become so much better, and I appreciate them a lot more now. Try to appreciate your family now if you can. They might annoy you sometimes, but at least there’s someone around who always cares and will always laugh at your jokes.